What to Expect When Visiting an Elder Family Member Across the Country
Visiting an elder family member is a wonderful way to participate in a cherished experience. However, when they reside in different senior living options, such as assisted living apartments, it’s essential to know what to expect during your visit. There may be specific rules that you need to follow when you are visiting them. Here are some of the things you can expect when visiting an elder family member across the country.
Their Place of Living
Residential assisted living facility options are a popular choice for seniors who desire a balance between independence and assistance with daily activities. When visiting an elder family member in an assisted living apartment, you can expect to find a comfortable living space designed to meet their needs. These apartments typically include a bedroom, a bathroom, a living area, and a small kitchenette. Depending on the facility, there may also be common areas where residents can socialize and engage in various activities.
The quarters may be a bit cramped, which means that staying with your elder loved one is likely not an option. You should make lodging arrangements nearby to ensure you have a place to stay when visiting. You don’t want your elder loved one to feel like they must make arrangements for you. To get the most out of your visit, arrange your lodging arrangements.
A key advantage of assisted living is the availability of medical services. Many facilities have healthcare professionals on-site or on-call, allowing residents to access medical assistance when needed. You may be able to speak with the medical staff to learn more about your loved one’s health. Maybe you could plan to meet with the medical staff while you visit. Ideally, you should get your loved one’s permission.
Most assisted living facilities are very welcoming to family members and hold special events that family members can attend. Use this time to focus your energy on ensuring that you make memories with your elder family member. You will cherish this visit if you take the time to make the visit all about spending quality time with your loved one. This is also a great time to attend medical appointments or meet with estate planning attorneys to help your loved one resolve their affairs.
Medical Professionals
Assisted living arrangements come complete with a lot of specialty care providers on site. Don’t be surprised by the number of doctors and other health care professionals you may see roaming the assisted living campus. You shouldn’t be alarmed by the number of healthcare professionals you see; they are there to support your loved one and all the other residents.
Physicians play a vital role in senior living options. They are responsible for providing primary healthcare, diagnosing and treating medical conditions, and coordinating with other healthcare professionals. During your visit, you may have the opportunity to meet with the physician responsible for your elder family member’s care. This presents an excellent opportunity to discuss their overall health, address any concerns, and gain insights into their medical needs.
In addition to general medical services, specialized doctors play a crucial role in the health and well-being of elderly individuals. An ear nose and throat specialist is often available for issues related to hearing, sinus problems, or other ear-related conditions. When visiting a loved one, you can inquire about the availability of ENT specialists within the facility or nearby. This will ensure that your elder family member has the quality of life they deserve.
Ear examinations should be a part of every senior’s regular annual care to ensure that hearing is highly functional. There are plenty of hearing aid options available that can ensure that your senior family member can continue to participate in social activities comfortably, and of course, hear you when you call on the phone. Visiting the ENT specialist with your senior loved one during your visit can give them the encouragement they need to get the assistive device that will ensure they continue to enjoy functional hearing.
Mobility Problems
Aging can seemingly happen rather suddenly when your senior loved one lives across the country. You don’t get to see the slow decline in mobility like you do when your elder family member lives up the street. Don’t be surprised if the elder loved one you saw last year walking around unassisted is suddenly (sudden to you) using a medical mobility scooter.
The beauty of your elder family member living in an assisted living facility is that the staff constantly monitors them. Even in retirement communities, a network of professionals is keeping an eye out for any mobility problems. When a mobility problem develops, options are suggested to help your senior loved one to get around.
Scooters are a great way for seniors to stay active and safe. Some seniors need a scooter because they have arthritis problems, others have fall risk issues, and still others want to spend more time scooting around without becoming exhausted. Don’t be alarmed if you see your elder loved one on a scooter. Instead, celebrate their proactive choices to ensure they stay mobile.
You may notice other changes in your loved one that weren’t an issue a year ago. Like their vision may have become worse. A visit to the ophthalmologist, while you are visiting, can help to fix the problem. Sometimes, senior loved ones need a push in the right direction to get the care that they need. A visit from a family member that is willing to go to the appointment with them may be the right solution.
In other words, you should expect to find some changes in your elder family member when you go to visit. People age differently. Sometimes the signs of aging are a slow progression; other times it seems like they happen overnight. Don’t be alarmed if you notice some changes in your family member. Instead, take action to assist them in navigating the changes.
Diet Changes
When you visit your family members, you may notice that their diet has changed significantly. They may eat much less, and they may cook much less. The fact is that, as we age, our diet requirements change, and sometimes seniors are just too tired to cook. Don’t expect to have grand meals from grandma like you used to. She is tired and doesn’t necessarily want to stand over a hot stove for hours anymore.
Instead of complaining about the changes, take your senior loved one out for a few meals to the restaurant that they enjoy the most. No one wants to be nagged about what they are eating or to be reminded that they should eat more. You are visiting, enjoy the time with your senior family members and be supportive. Listen to their concerns about what they are eating and encourage them to get support from a nutritionist to improve their diet, if necessary, but don’t try to fix them.
Seniors also prefer to eat earlier in the day because they go to bed earlier. Waiting until eight or nine to eat dinner is not the best scenario for them. You may have to adjust your eating habits when you visit to make things more comfortable for your senior loved one.
Enjoy your time with your family members, and don’t fill it with arguments about eating. Let them eat what they want when they are with you, and let them move at their own pace. Remember you are a guest and want to make positive memories during your visit.
Expect to Meet New Friends
Your elder family member is likely very excited to see you, and they want to show you off to their friends. You may have a couple of nights of Bingo playing in your future. You should expect that your senior family member has a social life and that they want you to see how they spend their time. You may not love playing bingo or line dancing, but they might. While visiting expect to put your hobbies to the side.
You must join in on the type of fun your elder loved one enjoys. Whatever it is that they enjoy doing, you can expect that they want you to be a part of it. It is a small compromise to make to give up what you like to do, so your loved one can show you off to their friends that they talk about you to.
Keep an open mind while you are visiting and plan on having a good time, even if that means sitting in a common area and listening to older people share their memories with you. Your efforts will be appreciated by your senior loved one. Even if you must hear the same stories again, it’s okay, you are there to support your elder family member, listen.
Memory Changes
Seniors often struggle with memory issues. You may find that your loved one has some memory problems. First, you should not be alarmed unless the problem is impacting their safety or daily life. In many cases, a small slip here and there are just signs of living a long life. In other cases, there is a reason to become alarmed.
If you notice that your senior loved one is very forgetful and struggles with daily tasks it may be time to get a professional involved. Testing can help to determine if the problem is a mild issue that requires minimal support or if it is something of a bigger problem that requires serious interventions.
Memory lapses are normal for a lot of people, not just seniors. Some things that can trigger memory impairment include stress and undiagnosed medical problems. Even some medications can impair memory. In other words, don’t jump to any conclusions. Talk to your loved one about any memory problems you notice and ask if they have sought treatment. You may be surprised that they are aware of the problem.
Personality Changes
You may be surprised to find that your elder family member is a bit different than you remember them if it has been a while since you visited. Time can change people. Your senior loved one may be less outgoing and more reserved initially. Unless you keep up with your loved one on a daily basis, they may have had some life events that you are unaware of.
It’s not unusual for a senior to deal with bouts of melancholy. Most seniors have experienced a great deal of loss in their lives. They have outlived many of their friends and family members. They are unable to do the things they did when they were younger physically, and they are often battling health problems. Being a bit down once in a while is understood. However, if you notice serious personality changes or signs of depression, you may want to meet with a professional.
We all change as we age. We all evolve. Sometimes it can be a bit shocking to hear grandma or grandpa use a language you have never heard them use. Maybe they were always guarded with how they spoke in front of you because you were a child, and now they are just ripping off the band-aid and showing you who they are. Maybe they are struggling, and they need some professional help. All you can do is make suggestions.
It is essential that you prepare yourself for your visit with your senior loved one and learn to expect the unexpected. A visit is a great opportunity to make memories and check in with your elder family member to ensure they live their best lives. There is support available if you are concerned about their living environment, their health, or have other concerns.
Enjoy your time with your loved one. If you need help, there is help available, so don’t be afraid to reach out.